I fundraised for my loved one – my dad, Donald Macgregor Forbes, who died very suddenly in 1996 from a brain aneurysm.
If you’re reading this, it’s quite likely that you’ll know someone or it could even be yourself that is affected by some sort of brain injury. You may even be a bit depressing thinking that this poor man, who the tribute is about, didn’t make it – well when an brain aneurysm is instantly fatal – the good news is that you don’t get anytime to think. The bad news is for the loved ones left behind wondering what on earth hit them, why it was them and feeling that horrendous stop the clock/world feeling every minute of the day, every day for what seems forever.
This story though is not about that sadness. Actually it’s about waiting until such time that you can turn something so awful into something so brilliant. I was 29 when my dad died – just a year after he walked me up the aisle. I’m now 40 and 11 years later I realised that my 40th birthday could really make a difference – not just to me but to people like Walter at Brain Help, (who is, in my opinion, a total inspiration) and the Highland Hospice.
So ceilidh band booked (the fabulous StrathNairn Ceilidh Band), village hall booked and 150 friends and family later – a really great night. Lots of noise, laughing, eating, bidding at an auction, hundreds of lucky raffle ticket winners and hey presto – over £3000. I could never have done it without the immense love and help of friends and family who all knew how much my dad meant to me and my family. Just the same as everyone else’s loved ones.
The feeling of achievement after the ceilidh was so rewarding – because it was all motivated by that very special person – my dad! Now I don’t mind telling you that for a split second I was originally tempted to celebrate my 40th by going off to New York with my husband and son.
I’m so glad I didn’t. Walter phoned me up and told me that the money we raised (just over £1500) was going to be spent on a top of the range laptop so that he could actually sit in someone’s house and show them the help that was available. New York – forget it. I knew then that my dad would have been so chuffed to bits and that the ceilidh was absolutely the right thing to do.
The key message of this tribute is – what can you do? How can you help others? By being able to help Brain Help, I see my whole circle of close family and friends as going to help survivors of brain injuries. It doesn’t matter what you do or how much you raise – the most important thing is this – just do something. Because believe you me, you’ll get far more out of it than you might ever have imagined!
A very happy and proud 40 year old who still misses her dad.